


Taking Advantage of the Fact That My Best Friend Can't Remember That He Hates Me

by Veviara



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Amnesia, M/M, pls help me tag I don't know what I'm doing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-01 06:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21424156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veviara/pseuds/Veviara
Summary: Look Yuri is very aware that he is treading a very fine line here, okay? Otabek and him are decidedly Not Friends and right now he is verging dangerously close to Taking Advantage of the Fact That My Best Friend Can’t Remember That He Hates Me territory. It’s just… How often do you get a second chance?
Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Comments: 19
Kudos: 22
Collections: Otayuri Mini-Bang 2019





	1. names

The first time Yuri sees Otabek after the accident is at the Lombardia Trophy. It would however seem that Otabek does not see Yuri, which, whatever, the man has amnesia. Not exactly weird if he doesn’t recognize his old best friend. Still. They meet at the hotel before practice, Otabek going out while Yuri is on his way back to the room for the third time this morning. Like, seriously. It’s Otabek with the wacky memory not him.

The point is... that there is no point. Otabek doesn’t see him. They walk right past each other, that’s it. End of story. He probably doesn’t even recognize him as a fellow skater. Yuri pushes the button to get to his floor, the elevator doors closing on the sight of Otabek stopping to speak with one of the new seniors this season.

The second time Yuri sees Otabek after the accident is also at the Lombardia trophy (what a fucking surprise). It’s also the same morning, also a fucking surprise considering how they were both heading to practice when they first met, meeting being an exceptionally gracious word to describe the mornings encounter. In any case the saga didn’t end that morning because surprise-surprise it’s kind of hard not seeing someone when you share the same ice. Sharing the same ice however doesn’t really provide an excuse for smalltalk and so Yuri leaves the ice once again wondering whether Otabek even noticed him and once again concluding: Probably not. Then he pushes it to the back of his mind and goes to get a shower. Not like it’s anything new.

The third time Yuri sees Otabek after the accident he feels pretty confident that Otabek sees him too. He had better too because that was one damn fine short, thank you very much. And when the judges announce the scores it feels suspiciously much like sweet, sweet justice: The Ice Tiger of Russia is back and this season he’s gonna get what he came for. Even better when Otabek comes up to congratulate him he pretends he hasn’t seen him and walks right past. Serves him right.

Avoiding Otabek turns out to be not his best nor his simplest plan to date. For gods sake they had nothing to talk about and nothing in common (except of course the obvious) and were both very busy people with very busy lives which did not in any way, shape or form calm down in the slightest during a competition, exactly like (just an example!) the one they are currently at. Avoiding him should have been a piece of cake. So pray tell why did Otabek decide to make that difficult for him? 

They see each other again in the competitors area behind the rink and okay Otabek is a competitor he might have a right to be there but does it have to be right next to Yuri? No, it doesn’t, that’s right! Is Otabek aware of that? Well, all evidence points to no because look! There he fucking is! But like hell if Otabek is gonna chase him away from his spot when he’s in the middle of stretching (he has considered the option, but he can’t do it without either obviously stopping his stretches too early or obviously moving to a place far away from Otabek to do his stretches) so he stays put.

“That was a pretty good program you put out there”

Oh you bet it was you incompetent horse shoe.

“Gonna be tough to beat”

Like you have a chance you unnecessarily carrot-themed snack.

“I especially liked your Ina Bauer”

“Just like the rest of the skating world” he finally answers while nonchalantly changing the leg and by extension turning his head so he’s facing Otabek. At least the view is nice. 

And look! Not only does he not call Otabek any names to his face he actually comes up with a polite response to a completely useless compliment too which is no easy feat.

Otabek is quick to recover from Yuri’s (okay, maybe less than) polite response because he just laughs and goes “As they should!”

They stare at each other for a while before Otabek finally gives in and continues.

“Look I’m sorry but I had a head injury this summer and... I don’t know, have you already heard about it?”, he looks questioningly at Yuri as though expecting him to answer.

Has he heard about Otabeks injury this summer? Has he heard about anything _but_ Otabeks injury this summer, would be a much better question. At this point he knows which hotel Otabeks family were staying at when it happened, how many minutes it took before the ambulance arrived and he feels like he could point to the exact offending rock on which Otabek lost his footing. He does however have absolutely no plans of telling Otabek just how much information he has memorized and instead just says:

“You mean the memory loss? I’m pretty sure I’d have to have lived under a rock to not know that.”

At that, Otabek visibly relaxes.

“That’s... actually kind of nice. I mean... I’ve lived with this for a month already and by far the worst part has been meeting new people and not knowing whether I should know them or not and then explaining ‘Hey I have amnesia!’ feels a lot like a really lame excuse for why I can’t remember their names you know? But if the skaters at least already know then that makes my life just a little easier”, he says huffing. “I sure could use that right now!”

He gives Yuri a side glance and a small, trying smile, which Yuri, immune as he is, does not fall for.

“So what do you want?”

After a long pause Otabek says “Your name for starters?”, looking only a little more taken aback than last time.

Yuri has never tried getting a “Who’s this?” text back, when texting an ex but he’s still pretty sure that this is worse. The guy could have taken one moment, one single moment, to google himself, the very competition he was at or just youknow figure skating as a whole and Yuris name would have come up. It would have taken nothing out of his time to look him up after he had completed his program and before going to congratulate him on it. But he apparently decided that he didn’t really want to do the work today. Well he had another thing coming.

“Right” He says, dropping the stretches completely and giving Otabek his full attention. ”Well let me tell you a thing. You are a world famous athlete. You are number three in the ISU’s world ranking. You got silver at the freaking olympics not one year ago” he’s counting off his fingers giving Otabek what he hopes is a meaningful look. “Everyone who knows jack-shit about figure skating knows who you are so when you went and fell off some stones during family vacation it was everywhere. And you can rest assured that anybody you meet at this or any other figure skating competition will not only know your name, they can probably rattle off the date their life got significantly worse because suddenly everything anyone cared about was whether everyone’s favorite horse-faced idiot would be able to compete this season. You know what else everyone knows? Yuri. Plisetsky. Is. Flexible.” he says punctuating each word. Then he turns around and leaves. 

It doesn’t really feel like the bad-ass exit he pictured though. Instead it feels suspiciously much like when Georgi finally gave up on Anya last month, years after she had moved on. Suddenly he was definitely Not In Love and Way Too Good anyway and he’d spend hours telling anybody stupid enough to indulge him in any way how it had been alright but just not Right including Anya herself. A little sad, a little laughable, but most of all pitiful.

And Anya? Busy planning her wedding this winter.

But as we all know when it rains it pours so of course that’s not the last Yuri has seen of Otabek. They meet again in the changing rooms and then again in the showers even though Yuri took his sweet time getting ready giving Otabek lots of time to get out of there, but no now Yuri has that image in his brain (his unuseful brain supplies that he technically did before too and Yuri tells his piece-of-shit brain to shut up). They meet again-again in the elevator in the hotel room and that’s when they realize that not only are they on the same floor there is only one other room between them. The final straw however is when Yuri goes into the restaurant Viktor recommended him only to find Otabek already at one of the tables.

The place is small but busy and the second he sets foot in the restaurant a waiter comes to tell him that sorry they are booked for the night. That’s when Otabek looks up from his menu and locks eyes with Yuri and in that split second Yuri-from-a-year-ago makes the decision for him.

“Oh I’m actually meeting him” he says, gesturing towards Otabek and side steps the waiter to walk towards where Otabek is already pulling out the extra chair for him and smiling knowingly.

“You’re here for the Russian food right?” he says while handing Yuri the menu he was previously looking at.

Yuri just nods as the waiter hurriedly sets another plate at the table. 

“How did you find the place?” Otabek says at Yuri’s continued silence and he has to give the man credit for at least attempting smalltalk. He considers a multitude of options for his answer among them more silence and a meaningful look around to the many other people in the restaurant who obviously also found the place, but instead he remembers said many other people and decides to show his gratitude for actually having somewhere to sit in the restaurant.

“Viktor told me their solyanka soup was good”

“Oh, okay. I was actually considering that one”

Yuri feels pretty sure he wasn’t mostly because the menu Otabek handed him just before was open at the pizza and pasta section, but he decides not to mention anything. 

“Look about earlier,” Otabek starts. “I’m not really sure what went wrong but I’m sorry”

And if that isn’t exactly what Yuri has wanted to hear since march. 

“I obviously said something that upset you and I’m sorry. But you have to remember that I have amnesia and I really can’t remember not just you, though I am sure that we have met before, but literally every single person and thing in my life. Including the stuffed horse my sister claims I used to sleep with every night - I still haven’t decided whether to believe her or not.” At that there’s a humorous glint in Otabeks eyes but it’s gone almost immediately as Otabek quickly continues his little speech. “No matter how well you know me, I simply just don’t know you. So could we maybe wipe the slate clean and both pretend to forget the past - both the one from today and the one from before I went and forgot my entire life - and start over?”

After Otabek has finished his impromptu speech Yuri just looks at him while trying to mull it over.

“How long did it take you to rehearse that?”

At that Otabek laughs out loud before admitting; “way too long”. 

Had this been a year ago this would be it. They’d forgive and forget never talking about why they were fighting in the first place because in the end it’s not like it really matters. But now their friendship is already a smoking pile of ash and there’s nothing left to protect anyway. That and Yuri didn’t really plan on going easy on Otabek anyway.

“Why didn’t you know my name?”

Otabek just looks at him for a while before hesitantly and very slowly opening his mouth to say “memory loss?”

“Yeah I know that”, he then says surprising himself with how well he manages to sound like he isn’t ready to tear his hair out. “I don’t know why you didn’t... look the competitors up beforehand or something.”

In all honesty Yuri knows this is futile because that’s not actually what he wants to know. What he really wants to know is why Otabeks entire family have deemed their history unimportant enough to not even tell Otabek that it’s there while Yuri still spends days wondering whether he could have saved that friendship. Otabeks family could have told him to avoid Yuri like the plague and it would still have hurt less.

“I don’t look anything up at all,” he says. “I don’t want what I read online to dictate my own thoughts.”

Which is probably for the better now that Yuri thinks about it. He sure as hell wouldn’t want all the bullshit articles and crazy angels on social media to be the only resource he had in piecing his life back together if it were him.

“Look, I’m not saying you should go and read all the articles you can find, but finding a list of the competitors might be a good idea”

“I looked at the list. The ISU doesn’t have pictures in their skater biographies.”

And right that’s actually true.

“They do have running orders though?”

Otabek sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

“Names are a good conversation starter, okay?”

Yuri looks up from the menu he was totally reading and looks incredulously at Otabek.

“Conversation starter?”

“Yes! Then I know that we’re both on the same page when we start talking. Most people pretty quickly realize that, no I do in fact not remember that conversation we had last spring when I can’t even remember their names. Besides what else should I start with?”

“Literally anything else!”

“A: Why? B: What?”

“Because ‘Hi what’s your name?’ has got to be the lamest opening ever?”

“Maybe, but if it starts the conversation...” Otabek trails off and shrugs.

“You mean you usually get a conversation more than three minutes long when you open like that?”

“Some people have very long names!”

And that is just such an Otabek thing to say that Yuri can’t help but snort rather loudly. Otabek sits back in his chair on the other side of the table with a matching smile on his face and is probably very smug about his own joke. Which wasn’t even a real joke but whatever.

“You could always start the conversation with something completely different and then ask about the name afterwards.” he says once he has schooled his face so it doesn’t betray his amusement.

“What should I then start a conversation with Oh Great and Almighty Conversationalist?”

“Literally anything else!” he says a little too loudly and with a little too big hand gestures.

“Like?”

“I don’t know. Anything.”

They are both silent for a while after that and when Otabek speaks up again he’s way more serious than before.

“I don’t know anything about any of the people I used to know. I have no background knowledge on anyone. And I don’t want the internet to dictate my opinion of the people in my life. So I deliberately don’t look anybody up beforehand just because I want to make my own opinion.”

It may be a stupid question. It may be a really bad idea. But Yuri still has to ask: “And what’s your opinion of me?”

“Well obviously a good skater”

That wasn’t a very telling answer he thinks but he is tactful and does not say anything. Otabek does have eyes though and continues without being prompted.

“Look we didn’t really get off on the best foot did we? I’m sure you’re a nice person but I don’t really know you that well do I now?”

And so Yuri does the only logical thing he can think of and sticks his hand out.

“Yuri Plisetsky”

Otabek looks at it for a couple of seconds before laughing again and then takes it. “Otabek Altin. Nice to meet you.” When the waiter comes to take their order they both scramble to find something as quickly as possible and end up ordering two different kinds of pasta. It’s not until the waiter is long gone that Yuri remembers that he originally came for the solyanka soup but that’s too late now.

That night when he’s lying in his bed he looks at Otabeks shiny new contact name before scrolling all the way down to where the skull emoji still sits. Then he sighs, puts his phone away and turns around trying to get some sleep before tomorrows free programs.

He also makes a mental note to remember to ask Aina whether Otabek truly used to sleep with the stuffed horse. If she ever deigns to forgive him that is.

And it’s in that moment while lying in bed, contemplating just how much Otabeks family must hate him and how Otabek might not be his best friend Otabek but at least he doesn’t hate him anymore and how much he misses those days when he could show up at Otabeks front door all ‘Hi I’m gonna stay over the next couple days’ that he truly realizes that maybe, just maybe, Otabeks memory loss could be a blessing in disguise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being not-Russian I know shit about Russian food but I looked it up and concluded that solyanka soup would take maybe not a lot of skill but definitely a lot of time meaning that people like Yuri and Viktor, who have very busy schedules and also travel a lot wouldn’t have time to make it very often. I also figured that when you travel a lot you get tired of foreign food and just want the same old thing (gods know I could have killed for a bowl of porridge half way through my vacation in Japan). Therefore: Solyanka soup.
> 
> Yuri’s creative insults are absolutely inspired by my sister who has the most creative insults out of anyone I know. Same sister pointed out to me that names are usually mentioned half a billion times at a competition like this and I’m calling upon the powers of Suspense of Belief and fuck-I-completely-forgot-that to right this wrong.


	2. smiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've messed around with the work skin and I think it works now but if anything appears wonky please ping me (also you would not be_lieve_ the hours that shit took)(no literally. It's exactly 26 lines of css and I've spend more hours on that than the actual chapter).

“This is a good message” he tells himself as he stares at his phone. It’s not desperate, they’re just both in the same place at the same time. Casual enough that Otabek can easily just say no if he never wants to see Yuri again. Doesn’t mention a specific time, meaning Otabek can pick whatever time’s best for him. Not too familiar because Otabek doesn’t remember Yuri and it’s short and to-the-point because a year or so ago Otabek told him that he doesn’t like texting, but prefers to meet people in person. The language is simple so they won’t misunderstand each other.

» Wanna hang out while you’re in Moscow?

Then he presses ‘SEND’ and immediately hurls the phone across the room. He winces as it hits the wall (please don’t be broken, please don’t be broken, please don’t...) before landing on the bed with a soft ‘thump’. The regret hits him before the phone hits the mattress. 

Not desperate? That was the word he had used right? Desperate? Moscow is four hours away from him how on earth is that not desperate? And casual? It’s not goddamn casual when you travel four freaking hours just to meet up! And like, Viktor said that hang out is how they say casual meetup in English, but it’s Viktor and Viktor probably learned it from Yuuri ""I’m gonna get piss drunk and pole dance to get your attention" Katsuki who obviously has no idea what neither casual nor formal means. Oh and if Otabek somehow manages to understand his shitty message and ignores that it definitely isn’t casual there’s still that bit where this message comes out of the blue after more than a month of complete radio silence on both parts!

“Casual Yuri? You’ve got it down! This is prime casual!” he mumbles, already pacing a path into the floor.

Then the phone dings (not broken, phew) and he’s on his bed within seconds scrambling to find the phone. 

» Sure

That’s not a no he thinks. It actually sounds a lot like a yes. Then the phone dings again and another message pops up.

» Dinner like last time?

Dinner like last time? They can do dinner like last time! Maybe they should even go to that restaurant they went to last year too! Otabek had liked it there, hadn’t he? And it wasn’t too far from the rink either, it would be perfect for Otabek transportation wise!

» Sure :) I know a good place we could go to? When’s the best time for you?

Luckily for Yuris health he didn’t have to wait long for the answer.

» Perfect. How about saturday after the gala?

He had barely read the response before calling the restaurant to book a table. 

* * *

Once the day finally comes he arrives pathetically early to the restaurant. But then again that's just what you get for planning dinner four hours away. And for being reliant on public transportation. And for trying to rescue a relationship which has already been poked until it cracked, smashed to dust with a large hammer and buried so deep it's turning to oil.

However pathetically early is apparently still not early enough to arrive before his <del>date</del> <del>friend</del> <del>dinner companion</del> <del>wHaTeVeR</del>. Not early enough. Point. Done.

Otabek is sat at a table outside the restaurant and stares at his phone. As Yuri approaches he looks up and flashes him a smile. And maybe it's because Yuri himself feels incredibly uneasy about this whole thing but doesn't it look a little strained?

"Hey! You're early!," Otabek says as he puts the phone down (screen facing up, not like Yuri notices it or anything).

"Says you," Yuri responds as he stops in front of the table. Then valiantly attempting to not appear as out of place as he feels: "So... Should we go get the table that I actually booked for us or..?"

"Oh, this is it!"

"This is it?"

"Yeah."

Yuri stares blankly at him for a couple of seconds while he waits for Otabek to elaborate, but Otabek is very silently looking at anything but Yuri and keeps glancing down at the damned phone. So Yuri continues himself. 

"So what? You just showed up and said you were meeting a friend, and then my very dear friend, the cook, said 'Dark hair, kinda small and leather? That must be Yuri's friend!'?"

Whether Otabek realizes that staring at your phone is absolutely terrible table manners or he is just that charmed by Yuri's blinding conversation skills will forever remain a mystery. He does turn his phone so the screen is facing the tabletop though so that's something.

"I just told them that I was meeting Yuri Plisetsky and that we had a reservation in that name," Otabek says. 

"Oh, so now you know my name."

"Well, yeah. I don't forget things from after."

And there's that smile again. Once upon a time Otabeks smile had two variations: Not and blinding. Not was for everyone. Blinding was saved for people like Yuri. Strained is new and Yuri's not a fan.

Otabek reaches for the menu, so Yuri does the same. They spend the next ten minutes in complete silence pretending that it is really, really hard to make a decision and when the waiter comes to take their order he doesn't know whether he's glad or not. On one hand the past ten minutes were incredibly awkward. On the other hand now he's just wishing that the waiter would come back with their food already so he'd have something to stuff in his mouth and a decent excuse for not making smalltalk.

As Otabeks eyes start skirting around Yuri knows he has to say something. Then Otabek starts glancing towards his phone and Yuri knows he has to say that something right now.

"Why were you even in the water?"

Question quality: 20%  
Question relevance: 60%  
Question effectiveness in getting Otabeks attention: 90%

Otabek quickly looks up at Yuri and hesitates for just a second before answering:

"We think I was taking a photo."

"_Think?_," Yuri asks and gives Otabek his best judgy stare. Then he replays what Otabek just said. "_We?_"

"Yeah. Well. Obviously, I don't remember it myself. But Aina - my sister - says that one moment I was right next to her, and the next I was in the water. And they found my phone like four meters away from me so it's not like it could have just fallen out of my pocket"

That makes Yuri look over at Otabeks phone and he realizes that yup, that's not the same model Otabek used to have. Wonder if their chargers still match.

Then that damned thing starts beeping and Yuri most of all wants to pick it up and throw it into the ridiculous fish tank in the other end of the room.

"Sorry," Otabek says and picks up the phone. "It's probably just JJ." A couple swipes later he continues: "Yeah, JJ".

If Yuri were the jealous type he would be absolutely furious that Otabek were keeping in touch with people who were not Yuri. Now he's just furious that out of all people it had to be JJ.

"You talk a lot with him?" he says and takes a sip of the water that arrived just a moment before.

"A little," Otabek says. Then he elaborates (without being prompted thank fuck): "He's been sending me some pictures of me from before." 

He looks up at Yuri again. "It's a little different having private pictures than just looking through instagram you know? And JJ is really good at taking pictures both quality and quantity wise. He's just shit at organizing his files so every now and then I get hundreds of new pictures because he finally found another drive hidden somewhere".

And there it is! Not a not, not a strained, but an absolutely show-stopping blinding smile. And Otabek is looking down at his phone.

And almost like an afterthought Otabek looks up at Yuri and says: "Hey, do you have some too?"

It feels more like a courtesy than anything else. And where Yuri not one minute before had been ready to say "Hey, I actually have some really cool pictures of the two of us do you want to have a look at them too?" now the mere thought just leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

Ever-observant Otabek must sense his discomfort and quickly backtracks.

"Obviously you don't have to share if you don't want to I just..." and then he trails off.

Look, Yuri’s not gonna pretend like it isn’t stupid, okay? He knows it’s stupid. He knows full well that it is incredibly unbelievably stupid and going to come back and bite him in the ass later and once that happens he won’t be able to sit down for a week after. Yet he still opens his big, fat mouth and says:

"No, it's just that I don't really have any"

Otabek furrows his brows.

"Really? I honestly thought the whole taking pictures thing was your deal as much as it is JJ's"

Wow. Comparing him to JJ. What a low blow.

"Yeah, well, I just didn't really know you that well,."

"Really?"

Otabek looks slightly disbelieving and honestly Yuri doesn't blame him. Time for some backtracking.

”I mean I met you at competitions you know? Same social circles and all that. But we never really hung out.” 

“Really? There’s nothing?”

Otabek doesn't look any less skeptical but Yuri can't very well back out now so he just says: “Nothing.”

“Wow,” Otabek says and leans back in his chair while staring intently at Yuri. It's the first time during the entire evening where he feels like he has Otabeks full attention and he doesn't even like it. 

"Wow," Otabek just repeats and Yuri's unease continues to increase at a mathematical-term-he-didn't-bother-remembering rate.

"What it's completely impossible to not know His Royal Highness?"

If Granpa were here he'd tell him to dial down the snark but luckily for Yuri Otabek doesn't seem to take it to heart. 

He shakes his head and says:

"No, it's just. You're the first."

"Well, what can I say. I'm obviously immune to your charms," he says and does an awkward laugh-like thing.

Otabek raises his eyebrows in challenge.

"Oh you are? Then why are you here then?"

Technically Yuri knows he started the teasing thing, but did Otabek really have to play along? How does he even respond to that?

Yuri grabs his bag, rises from the chair and does... something... with his hands in front of him.

"Oh I'm not! You have never seen me!" he says exaggeratedly slowly while walking backwards.

Otabek is smiling at Yuri's antics, but then his eyes widen and he manages to get out a "Yuri, watch..!" before Yuri takes one more step back and walks directly into the waiter arriving with two times hot soup.

For a second everything is quiet. Otabek is half up from his chair, the waiter stands with his hands locked in an attempt to catch the dishes, and Yuri stands in the middle of a mess of broken glass and with green and red soup dripping all the way down his shirt and his pants and ending in a pool on the ground.

"Out," Otabek finishes his sentence.

The waiter grabs the dishtowel on his arms and stuffs it into the bottle of water on the table. He then gives it to Yuri who tries to put it on his back where there's more soup but he. Can't. Goddamn. Reach. Then Otabek rises to the occasion and helps pressing the cloth onto his back and the waiter gestures them towards the kitchens. As they go past they see another waiter going in the direction of their table armed with broom and dustpan. All the while the waiter is apologizing (Yuri literally walked into him what's he even apologizing for) and Otabek keeps asking whether he's okay, but no many how many variations of "it's fine" and "I'm fine" he gives them they don't shut up.

Half an hour later he sits shirtless in the shower in Otabek's hotel room with cold water running down his back. He'd sat in the kitchen for all of ten minutes before getting tired of the sheer chaos and Otabek constantly changing the dishtowel.

"I think this might fit you" Otabek says as he appears in the door with clean and dry shirt and pants in his hands.

Yuri looks up from the floor and smiles at him. 

"Thanks. Can you just put it..." he gestures vaguely to the other, not-wet part of the room.

Otabek puts it on the toilet seat and then joins Yuri on the floor.

"How's your back feeling?"

"Cold"

"Well," Otabek smiles. "That's an improvement I guess?"

Yuri just nods his head and gives Otabek a smile. God it's been a long day. 

They sit in silence for a while before Otabek starts talking again.

"Hey, sorry for bringing it up again but... you really don't know me?"

See if Yuri was a vaguely sensible person he'd come clean right about now. He can reach out and drag himself out of the early grave he's been digging himself. He even looks appropriately pitiful so there's a decent chance that Otabek won't hate him for it. Or you know at least postpone his hate for a time where Yuri's not present. Otabek however seems to take his hesitation for impatience and comes to a completely different conclusion on his own.

"No, sorry, you already said that, I know."

There. Perfect opprotunity passed right in front of his nose.

Otabek leans back against the wall and goes on:

"It's just. Everyone else already has an idea of who I am you know?"

Yuri looks blankly at him then just goes with pure, honest truth: "I'm pretty sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

Otabek laughs a little then looks towards the ceiling.

"It's like... Like... Like I'm some kind of celebrity? And everyone I meet already think they know me? And I just have no idea where they got that idea? "

"Well, technically you are a celebrity,".Yuri says, and then Otabek rolls up a piece of toilet paper and throws it at him. It doesn't hit but it does land on the floor and gets completely soaked.

"Sorry," Yuri laughs and holds his hand up. "Yeah, I get it. Or, well, I don't, cause I've never had amnesia but I get your analogy. You feel like everyone expects something of you and you can't deliver."

"Yeah. And like. I care? And I want to be that person who fits all their expectations? But at the same time I have no idea who that person is and I just keep on disappointing them? And at the same time I just want to scream at them that they need to leave me alone for five small minutes."

Otabek throws another crumpled piece of toilet paper at the wall.

"It's like. They want "me" but _I_ am not good enough?"

Then he breathes out hard and shakes his head.

"Sorry. I guess I'm just... overwhelmed. I guess. I just got a little excited at the prospect of knowing somebody with zero expectations to me," Otabek smiles warmly at Yuri. 

And, what's that? Oh, right, it's the sound of the hole Yuri has dug himself into folding in on itself. Passed opportunity indeed. But as his granpa used to say (ever since finding his first meme at least): "Be like a duck. Calm above the surface. Underneath; paddle like hell." 

Well, time to paddle.

"I don't know how caught up you are on figure skating history but I used to be good, right? Like, really good," he says.

For half a second Yuri fears that Otabek is about to say some bullshit "you are good" line like the last time he had complained about this to him but thankfully he keeps quiet so Yuri continues.

"In my first senior grand prix I was fifteen and up against people like JJ and Phichit Chulanont," he pauses and then as an afterthought adds: "And you." It's the first time he's really thought of Otabek as a competitor he needs to beat rather than a friend who just happens to have the same eccentric hobby as himself. "And then I won the gold."

"That year I also beat Viktor at the Russian natioals. And yeah Viktor had less than a month to prepare because he couldn't make his mind up about whether he wanted to keep skating or not but the point is I beat the five-time and reigning world champion when I was fifteen. And then worlds. I won everything that year. And I just. Feel like everything has been downhill since then? And people keep telling me that I'm so brilliant and I've just been a little unlucky and I'll get it next time. But the thing is I've been "unlucky" for three years now. And I'm just never gonna be that good again you know?"

For a while the only sound in the bathroom is the water running down Yuri's back and then Otabek says "we're both messed up, huh?"

And Yuri thinks back to the last time they had this conversation. Thinks about how placating and dismissing Otabek had been that time. Thinks about how angry he'd been and about the rant so long it had broken the character limit and he'd had to split it in two messages. How Otabek had never responded. And then he pushes it out of his mind in favor of the present.

"Well some more than others" Yuri teases while looking very pointedly towards Otabek.

"Yeah I guess so," he laughs.

"I'm just saying. I've never heard of someone with actual memory loss before. I thought that kind of thing belonged in fiction only."

Otabek laughs again before they both fall silent.

"Hey, you're gonna be at NHK too right?" Otabek then says. "Want to meet up again?"

And there it is. Blinding.

"Absolutely!" Yuri feels like his own smile could give Otabeks a run for it's money, but honestly it doesn't in any way do the somersaults his stomach pulls off justice.

"And not to throw you out, but definitely throwing you out it is getting kinda late," Otabek says.

Yuri doesn't even know what time it is but he also doesn't need to know the exact time to agree right now so he nods and says "yeah, I should probably head home."

"Do you live far away?"

He’s just about to complain about his four hour train ride before he remembers that it was supposed to be casual. And while a small voice in his head says that casual went right out the window way before he even sat down shirtless in Otabeks shower another a much louder voice argues that he has already lied so much today he might as well go all the way.

“Oh no, I live just around the corner”

That one was gonna be fun to explain once Otabek actually came to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Yuri is pacing a path into the floor my mental image is Scrooge McDuck whenever he's worried about money ([something like this picture](https://i.imgur.com/gEUBr6B.jpg))(there was one particularly funny panel where he'd worn the path so deep that only his hat was visible).  
Funfact! When I was a kid my favorite restaurant had a fish tank and we would always ask for a table close to the fish tank and I loved the water and decorations but hated the actual fish because they looked weird. And that's the reason why there's a fish tank in this restaurant.
> 
> As an aside: We have finally arrived at the stage with casual banter and I am so ready for it because I had to rewrite the entire first half of the chapter when I realized they were too friendly. When they say writing is rewriting, they may have a point.


End file.
